blog

Surrendering, Giving Up, Resignation, Grief, and Growth

A beautiful sunrise

Transformative wisdom from the legendary Boston psychiatrist and teacher, Dr. Elvin Semrad.

One of life’s hardest-won lessons is, after using every means at our disposal to reach a desired end, finally to give up, to surrender.

Letting go of the hope that our efforts will bear fruit requires experiencing grief and sadness.

My wisest mentor, the legendary Boston psychiatrist and teacher, Dr. Elvin Semrad, observed the transformative power of grief.  He spoke of the way that bearing the pain of letting go of attachment to actual or desired for objects and circumstances frees up space and energy for attachment to NEW objects and circumstances.  Sometimes what comes into our life after we surrender is the answer to our wish.  Sometimes what is brought to us is something we haven’t even dared to dream.

An initial substantial commitment to a goal is a precondition for the transformation, as it establishes the connections that eventually we come to surrender and to grieve.  Those of us who choose to engage with life by risking desire and loss, may find the enlightenment of Elvin Semrad to be good company for the voyage.

The Rolling Stones:
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need …